Smart People aren't Intimidating.

This article isn't only for women. Men can learn from this article too.

I will however focus more on women, because it is mostly women who complain about this phenomenon; they say that they cannot attract "good" partners because they are smart women and men feel inferior to them.

We very often hear and read that successful and/or smart people tend to have difficulties in the dating life. 

Is it because they're so smart and they have a hard time feeling understood?

Do they have high standards because they're smart? 

Are men or people in general repulsed or intimidated by smarter people?  Does everyone want an intelligently inferior partner? 

Now it is better that you get off your high horse, Eva and George and try to really ask the smart questions like the smart people you think you are. 
Stop behaving like you're French Royalty from centuries ago, because you're not.
And even if you were, you know how well it ended for them. 

From an evolutionary perspective, do you really think that anyone would desire a partner who is intellectually inferior to themselves? 

Unless someone is really insecure, and you don't want this type of people in your life anyway, I don't know anyone who feels intimidated by "smart" people. 

Now there is indeed an extremely unattractive trait that some (if not most) "educated" human beings tend to adopt;

they take pride and they identify themselves with their academic and professional achievements. 


Imagine being on a date with a surgeon, and over and over he talks about how difficult it is to be a surgeon, and how great it is to save human lives, and he studied medicine at this Ivy league University which was really difficult to get into.

What would you be thinking at this point about the guy? 

My first question would be: what the fkc are you trying to compensate for, mate? Do you feel so worthless that you need to identify your self-worth with your work? 

The same thing happens with women; they go on a date and start talking about what university they attended and how difficult it is to be a lawyer for example.
The problem is not that you're talking about your job, or about your knowledge.
It does become a problem and extremely unattractive when you attach your self-worth to it. This type of person, and there's way too many of them, want other people to admire them for their achievements.
Although achievements are great, it's really unattractive (and useless) to bring up how knowledgable you are.

It makes you look desperate. 

Another example I have noticed is in academia; people think that their Doctor title makes them somehow better. The funniest thing I saw, was a friend of mine who posted about how unfair it was that a PhD assistant would earn the minimum wage per hour. Well, I thought you did your PhD out of passion.

No, actually they didn't. They completed a PhD so that they can say "I completed a PhD".

They didn't do it for the sake of knowledge or for the sake of advancing science. 

They do this for their ego. And now they're a victim of it. They get sensitive and bitter because they expected something that they never got.




Now don't get me wrong: it is amazing to achieve things in life.

It would be hypocritical of me if I said that academic achievements don't matter, because knowledge is indeed power. I don't regret for a second the time and the money I have spent on my studies.

However I never take it seriously, I never take any pride in regards to them, because it doesn't make me "better" in any way.

Nobody cares, nor do these universities or these degrees define who I am as a person. 

What I want to convey in this article is that you do not expect special treatment or think in any way that your titles, academic achievements or your work make you better. Or that they are making you attractive as a date, or that they make you wife or girlfriend material. 


Quality people aren't intimidated, stop fooling yourself!

For the love of God stop!


Nobody gives a fkc that you have a PhD in the History of the Gender Equality Arts; not only doesn't it improve anyone's life but how is that relevant to making you an interesting partner? 

I often see young, smart, and beautiful women come to me crying that the guy they wanted who claimed to like educated women, left them for someone who "DOESN'T EVEN have a job nor an education" (their words not mine). 

Why? Because that woman didn't take herself seriously, she was fun.

She wasn't all uptight and trying to seem like someone important, or worse, someone who makes other people feel like they're stupid. NO YOUR PROSPECTS AREN'T INTIMIDATED EVA, you're just NOT FUN to be around and people just want to have fun and be entertained, they don't care about your degree. 




She gave him this



Same with being on a date with full of sh*t George; just because he works for a European Institution, which by the way nobody really knows what their use is, not even those who specialised in European law, it doesn't mean that you are not allowed to have different opinions.

Seriously imagine for a second being on a date with a guy, where you question something, and he's like "oh no but you are so wrong, and you are wrong because this is my speciality, and I work there".

That doesn't make you an expert you dumbfkc. 

The inability to have an open conversation with someone who cuts you off just because they have some meaningless degrees and meaningless jobs, will make the conversation awkward.

Even if your job is meaningful, say you're a surgeon, it's still not charming to boast. 


Taking pride and conveying that you feel superior or even thinking that you are better just because of your degree or your job doesn't make you fun to be around. You might think that people will respect you because of your titles, and some might indeed respect you because of them, but then do you really want to be around people who want you around for things you have instead of who you are?

I personally never really respected people who respect other people based on their social status. I don't respect people who respect me just because of my social status. This isn't real respect, that's hypocrisy.

I know... I know the world is full of it. 



If you want to improve your people skills, as it's called now, invest in other human qualities, such as being fun to be around, sweet, non-judging, and humble.

You will have better friendships, and better dating prospects by cultivating personality traits, rather than boasting on achievements. 


Even if YOU are the CEO, don't take yourself too seriously. Lighten up a bit, and your life will be so much better... people will even like you more. 





Leave a comment

All comments are moderated before being published

Shop now

Fatal is our favorite F word... After Friday !

Kim Maldese